Me: Is this a table? Is this a table?
Student (with me guiding): No, it's not a table, but it's
Me: Is this a chair? is this a chair?
Student: No, it's not a chair, but it's a light.
And so on.
Except in my first class today, I was translating into Spanish the expression "to kill two birds with one stone", which is matar dos pájaros de un tiro. Unfortunately, seeing as one of the students laughed, I evidently mispronounced it. After consulting my dictionary, I worked out I probably said pájaras (sneaky bitches) instead of pájaros. I could even have said pajas (wanks). So, "to kill two bitches [or wanks] with one stone" is now an English idiom.
In other news
So, I've moved into a new apartment. My landlady is lovely. She's a lovely old Spanish lady who told me "mi house es tu house." And gave me bed sheets. I am also living with Dan, a housemate/colleague from Swanage, which is very cool. It was a bit weird when he arrived because it felt like he was visiting me for a holiday, so I had to keep reminding myself he was coming to work too. It was a strange coincidence.
I went to Burger King twice in my first week. The first time an old man stole my ketchup. Actually, he asked me if I wanted it, and I, flustered with my basic Spanish, said "no", and he took it. The second time, my stomach protested muchly (I'm not surprised, to be honest).
I've also developped a habit of forcing my Spanish onto people. In restaurants and supermarkets, I ask questions just to practise my Spanish ("¿Qué es esto?" "Dónde están los aseos?") to waiters, shopkeepers, passing strangers...