The opticians

I needed a new pair of glasses. I've needed one since around February. So I finally got round to booking myself in for an eyetest to buy a new pair of eyes. I always feel slightly nervous with eyetests. I know I'm there so they can test my eyes, but I always feel as if I'm being judged, and as if it's some sort of trick.

Can you read out the letters you can see? By the way, this is called a Snellen Chart.

The optometrist was really nice and put me at ease. Then came the second part, looking for a pair of glasses. Ok, I made a bit of a mistake here. I went to Optical Express, which is like well posh, innit. I should have gone to specsavers.

Anyway, the optician, a different person, started showing me some really nice glasses. You know, nice glasses. From French Connection. And whatever other companies make expensive glasses. And he wouldn't tell me the price. Eventually, he showed me a pair of glasses, and I also chose the second free pair of glasses. And only then did he tell me the price. Two hundred and ten pounds. I said I couldn't afford that, and he replied, 'well they'll last a very long time'. That would be a lot of consolation for when I starved to death from being unable to afford food.

So, instead, I bought the cheapo second pair of glasses which would have come free, for just under fifty pounds. Which I thought was fair enough. So now I have a pair of glasses.