Thursday, May 21, 2009

On a bleach high

I've just spent the last twenty minutes standing in my shower spraying inordinate amounts of bleach in every direction. I know it says on bleach bottles not to use in a confined space, and I know it's not best to spray cleaning products near your face when you can hardly breathe anyway because of a cold. I nearly fainted. That's a lie. I did.* If, therefore, you find this blog to be somewhat incoherent, you know where to look (yes Cillit Bang, I'm on to you...).

I've had quite a productive morning; I did some clothes washing, did the washing up, went shopping, cleaned the shower and ate a bar of Milka Daim. Mmmm... This, I feel, has made up for my highly unproductive yesterday, where I achieved to do absolutely nothing.

Having just logged onto facebook, I have noticed a surprising number of statuses (and no, the plural of status is not stati), i.e. three out of the last four, have a particular theme to them:

Person 1 is getting (legally) married in 3 months today!

Person 2 is getting married next week!!

Person 3 is counting down!!!! 9 more days to go:) Ooh la la!!!

Try and guess what Person 3 is counting down towards... Doesn't the excessive use of exclamation marks make you sick?

Lisa: Dad, do you know what Schadenfreude is?
Homer: No, I don't know what "shaden-frawde" is. Please tell me, because I'm dying to know.
Lisa: It's a German term for "shameful joy", taking pleasure in the suffering of others.
Homer: Oh, come on Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt! He's usually all happy and comfortable, and surrounded by loved ones, and it makes me feel... What's the opposite of that shameful joy thing of yours?
Lisa: Sour grapes.
Homer: Boy, those Germans have a word for everything!

In other news, I have a bone to pick with my brother. Just two words will suffice to explain why: yellow mini. In the game of Yellow Mini, you hit people on the arm everytime you see either a yellow vehicle or a mini, and if you see a yellow mini, you hit them twice. Throughout Thomas being in Paris, I was being repeatedly beaten under the auspices of the regular appearance of yellow vehicles and/or minis. Being more mature than him (or so I told myself) I avoided taking part most of the time, but now he's left, I'm constantly seeing yellow vehicles and wanting to hit someone. I'm probably going to get arrested for assault before the week is out.

Anyway, I'm going to have some lunch. Tschuss!

*I didn't really pass out.


  1. Well I'm sorry! :o)

  2. Soon to be KVS! (Unless you don't actually change your surname!)