My eggcellent year so far

I hope you've had a great 2011 so far, and what a year it's predicted to be. So far I...

• have had no running water for three consecutive days.
• opened my new 'hi-techpoint' gel pens, to much excitement.
• Spent hours staring at Arabic vocabulary I'm meant to already know.
• had a fight with a teflon coated saucepan. Teflon is my number #2 mortal enemy after clingfilm.

Me and clingfilm don't go together well.

I also went to McDonalds. This was a mistake. I ordered my Happy Meal Big Mac Meal, but because there weren't any chips, the person said he'd bring it over. Except he forgot. Story of my life.

But, it did give me time to peruse the local newspaper, the Islington Gazette. I love local newspapers, they always have such interesting news. Today's edition included the stories:

• Ice skating rink which has been closed since June remains closed.*
• Theives in Tesco have been swapping organic eggs with value eggs.

How eggciting. Surprisingly, the guy who got stabbed only made it to the last few pages. But that's probably because that happened in Holloway, and this is Islington. But, I did get a free apple pie because the McDonalds Man** forgot. It wasn't very big, but yet contained one fifth of my recommended daily fat intake. That information made it all the more satisfying.

On the way out a homeless man asked me if I had any change for food. I said I didn't. I should have given him the apple pie, which was in my pocket at the time.*** But I didn't think of that, because I suffer from concrete thinking. Like the time my girlfriend asked whether she could use my computer to check her emails. She asked whether there was a password to log on. I said no, forgetting you needed a password to access the internet.

So that's my start for 2011. And to finish off, here are some quick questions:

1. How's your 2011 going so far?
2. What are your plans for the year?
3. Can you think of any more terrible egg-related puns?

*Ironically the ice skating rink was closed because the ice wouldn't freeze. For the last month, I don't know why they didn't just open the doors.
**His name was George, but I prefer to think of him as Ronald. I think I'm now going to call every cashier at McDonalds 'Ronald'.
***Doesn't that sound like a crude euphemism? Is that an apple pie in your pocket, or...